Aversion to relationship commitment can be overcome because fear of relationships is ultimately the product of an ingrained set of negative beliefs or feelings about relationships which have developed over the years or as a result of previous hurt or loss. The key word there is "beliefs". Beliefs are just that - conclusions drawn from past experience but which have been allowed to influence your entire perception of love, relationships and commitment to that relationship, more specifically to the other person. However these kind of beliefs are not set in stone, they are not unchangeable or immutable and if some belief about something is damaging your quality of life then there is no reason why you should not seek to change it. Fear of relationships and of opening yourself up to someone else should be and can be overcome.
Although sometimes it might not feel like it, these fears really are "all in the mind". Having as a child or adolescent seen your parents marriage fall apart and descend into acrimony and ultimately divorce, or having trusted someone close to you in the past and been badly let down, is bound to influence your feelings about relationships and commitment, and not in a particularly positive way. However it's a big mistake to allow that perception or feeling to influence your entire approach to relationships and the prospect of lasting commitment.
Many people are to varying degrees afraid of falling in love. Everyone has instinctive emotional barriers to avoid pain and hurt. These psychological/emotional protection mechanisms can offer what could be seen as safety from hurt but could and probably would - if allowed free rein to grow beyond a normal level - prevent you from ever being able to find a lasting, sustainable and mutually beneficial relationship.
Most people are kind of wary of the unknown, of unexplored terrain, especially in relation to things like trust, love and potential emotional pain. Venturing into a new emotional landscape does mean taking an emotional risk. You are opening yourself up to and placing trust in another person. (Though don't forget it may be very similar for them).
Relationship and commitment fear is virtually always based on and sustained by historical factors such as having been hurt in previous relationships, including perhaps in the earlier years having witnessed and been affected by an unhappy marriage between the parents. These feelings and fears can become deeply ingrained in the psyche, tending to re-emerge into conscious awareness whenever the prospect of a meaningful relationship with someone comes up.
The old, deep rooted fears about commitment and relationships come to the fore and "remind" you that your "beliefs" about opening yourself up to and placing emotional trust in another person tell you that it will probably result in hurt and loss. That of course may be what happens, but at the same time in reality it isn't "probable" either. You have to decide whether you really want to find a partner and are ready to take the emotional risk that that might involve, or whether you're actually quite happy on your own.
It can be a difficult call. Being footloose and fancy free - but sometimes lonely and increasingly so as you get older - or being in a committed relationship both have positives and negatives.
Another factor underlying relationship fear or commitment phobia is self esteem. Someone who has grown up believing that they're unattractive and unlovable could have difficulty accepting or believing that someone else could find them attractive and want to be with them, so much so that they could be afraid to commit or even enter into the relationship for fear of being proved "right". However the very fact that someone is genuinely interested in you and wants to spend time with you shows that negative self belief is delusional and without real foundation.
Overcoming fear of relationships can only be done in and by the mind because after all that's where it comes from. Not past experiences or anything or anyone else, but your mind's interpretation of past experiences. In order to change a deep rooted "interpretation" or belief about something it's necessary to access the subconscious to replace the negative beliefs and fears about relationships and emotional vulnerability with positive self belief and a relaxed and open attitude towards relationships and everything they have to offer, come what may. Hypnosis offers a risk free but also effective way of doing just that.
Copyright 2010-2021 Self Hypnosis The Key.com
All Rights Reserved