By strengthening self belief and self image learning how to deal with jealousy can be successfully accomplished. Jealousy, more specifically chronic, irrational jealousy, is derived from inner fear and self doubt. These fears and doubts make you feel - consciously and unconsciously - that no one could love you or be attracted to you simply for who you are, and that at any time your partner could prove it by betraying you for someone else. Knowing how to deal with jealousy first involves understanding that jealousy comes from within yourself and not from anyone or anything else.
"Jealousy is a tiger that tears not only its prey but also its own raging heart."
First of all, jealousy and envy are not the same thing, though the terms have inadvertently come to mean much the same thing. Envy is simply the desire for something that another person already has, and is perhaps more appropriate in reference to material things and situations. Jealousy - aka the Green Eyed Monster - tends to be or can be a much more powerful emotion (in a deeply negative sense) which is made up of a feeling of humiliation, anger, fear of potential abandonment, damaged self esteem or a combination of all of them.
There are some who say that a little jealousy in a relationship does no harm and can even help strengthen the relationship and that's probably worth bearing in mind, but here we're concerned with overcoming the destructive tendency to strong and persistent jealousy which does nothing for relationships other than ultimately destroy them.
More or less everyone experiences or has experienced jealousy to varying degrees of intensity, but in its ongoing, chronic form jealousy is indicative of issues with personal insecurity and damaged self esteem.
These issues tend to build negative self beliefs which foster anxiety and self doubt which preoccupy the mind of the jealous individual, leading him or her to habitually jump to negative conclusions about things that his or her partner says and does. For example, a jealous person sees their partner enjoying what could look like an intimate - but in reality probably perfectly innocent - conversation with a friend or someone else.
Instantly self doubt and insecurity leap to the fore and the jealous person feels threatened and then angry. Propelled by these negative emotions the jealous individual feels compelled, sooner, later or immediately, to confront the partner about it. Needless to say, if this goes on to occur with frequency or consistency then the partner may not be around for much longer, and the jealous person has - through his or her own insecurity and possessiveness - lost that which he or she was so afraid of losing in the first place.
In order to begin to overcome the tendency to jealousy, the jealous person first needs to acknowledge that their jealousy is purely a product of their own mind and imagination, that its cause lies within them and no one or nothing else.
By coming to an emotional - and not just an intellectual - acceptance of this, the psychological foundation of personal insecurity on which jealousy thrives begins to be replaced by a stronger and more positive foundation of self acceptance upon which you can start to rebuild positive self belief and self image. Having positive self belief and a positive self image means being confident, relaxed, self assured and comfortable in your own skin. Have you ever met or heard of anyone like that who was also chronically jealous and possessive?
It is, as they say, all in the mind. A person is jealous and insecure because they have conditioned themselves - or have allowed themselves to be conditioned - to think that way. A person who is confident and relaxed is like that for the same reason. It is within the power of every thinking individual to change or improve the way that they perceive themselves and everything around them, irrespective of what their circumstances may appear to them to be.
"Jealousy is the tie that binds, and binds, and binds."
Begin by making a point of taking a little time out to sit down and think about who you are and where you are in life and why you feel about yourself and your relationships with others the way you do. Make a conscious mental effort to drill down to the real you in an unflinchingly honest way. Then understand that if you want to allow yourself to breathe and grow, to overcome negative self belief and jealousy, you have to start by accepting yourself instead of vainly trying to fight or run away from your inner fears.
At this point, learning how to deal with jealousy also involves using your imagination, in that it's ultimately through the imagination that positive self belief and self image can be developed. This means deliberately and for a while consistently using your imagination to see yourself and feel yourself as the relaxed and self assured person you'd like to be, unfettered by the delusional fears and doubts which are the breeding grounds for insecurity and jealousy. This aspect of learning how to deal with jealousy can be helped considerably by using hypnosis pc or mp3 downloads to remove or reprogram the deep rooted negative self beliefs which are at the root of the jealous mindset. Further details of hypnosis downloads dealing specifically with this are available here.
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