Using self hypnosis to learn how to develop self confidence may to some people seem like an obscure and problematic way of doing it, but the reality is that people who are confident and self assured unconsciously use it all the time. Learning how to gain self confidence is simply a matter of learning how to do the same thing. The truth is that low self confidence is merely a state of mind - nothing else - and the first thing to know about how to develop self confidence is that the "cure" can only be effected in and by the mind.
In practical terms there are a number of things you can do to start giving your self confidence a boost. Begin by forming in your mind a totally honest appraisal of yourself in terms of what you currently feel and think about your ability to be successful in relation to your most important aims and desires.
It's important to do this because only by fully understanding and appreciating the reality of your current situation regarding your expectations of yourself can you create the psychological platform upon which you can start to remove your negative self beliefs and then gradually replace them with positive ones.
In other words, be honest and be real with yourself, it's the only place to start from.
Start getting into the habit of making a conscious mental effort to think and then act like a confident person. You might be thinking of "acting" in the sense of it being something phoney, like merely trying to pretend that you're someone that you're not, but as far as learning how to develop self confidence is concerned that's the wrong way to look at it. Film star Sophia Loren once said "Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got".
When you start to think and then act in a self assured and confident way you actually begin to feel better about yourself and thus more confident.
Begin paying conscious and ongoing attention to things like your dress and posture. Clothing style is perhaps not all that important. Being well dressed in whatever style suits you best, i.e. casual or smart or smart casual or whatever does indeed help, but it's not of absolutely critical importance. However your posture and general bearing - how you carry yourself - and your habitual manner of speaking is critically important.
Begin to consciously remind yourself to at all times walk and move in a relaxed and confident manner. Part of learning how to develop self confidence involves - at the beginning anyway - almost constant conscious monitoring of your own feelings, thoughts and consequent actions. If you catch yourself walking or generally carrying yourself in a slumped, downcast or generally sheepish sort of way, think and then act in a confident way instead. Walk and generally move in an upright and purposeful way.
Get into the habit of speaking and communicating in a clear, forthright but relaxed tone and manner, and not sounding like you're saying something you'd perhaps rather not say.
If you walk, move and verbally communicate in a confident, relaxed and self assured way, people will naturally take you as being confident, relaxed and self assured and will look to you as being in some ways at least attractive and interesting.
Learn to incorporate the gratitude attitude into your mindset. Focus less on what you perceive to be your shortcomings and deliberately focus more on what's good and positive about you and your life, and then be grateful for these things. Grateful to whom or what is up to you, but be grateful nonetheless. There's a saying which goes along the lines of "when you're more appreciative of what you have then you soon find yourself having more to appreciate". This is absolutely true and is based on a fundamental but not widely known truth of human psychology in relation to learning how to develop self confidence, the overall point being that the gratitude mindset is strongly conducive to confidence and self esteem building, while a negative, embittered, selfish and self centred mindset is not.
The second and equally important - perhaps more important - thing about how to develop self confidence involves addressing negative self belief at the deepest and most psychologically entrenched level.
No one is born with low self esteem and low self confidence. It's the result of a series of negative impressions and experiences which have accumulated in the mind and memory throughout the early years and beyond.
Hypnosis/self hypnosis - as it pertains to learning how to develop self confidence - is one of the most - perhaps the most - effective way of addressing and overcoming low self esteem and low confidence.
Understand first and foremost that confidence or the lack of confidence really is all in the mind. If you wish to feel - and therefore actually be - more confident and attractive then you have to change your self image accordingly, and this can only be done in and by your own mind.
The way to begin doing this is to learn how to relax. Genuine, deep relaxation puts you in a frame of mind whereby you become much more receptive to visualization and suggestion, and consequently more able to experience the benefits that these techniques can provide.
Select a time and place where you can have privacy and quiet, and either lie or sit down comfortably. Then close your eyes and begin to inhale and exhale slowly and quite deeply and regularly, then, starting with the feet and ankles begin to feel them loosening and relaxing. Moving upwards towards the waist and abdomen allow the feeling of relaxed limpness to spread over the whole of the lower half of your body. Then, with your eyes remaining closed and your breathing staying slow, fairly deep and regular let the relaxation spread throughout your upper body and limbs. Then focus on the muscles of your shoulders, neck and face.
Within a few minutes of this you'll be feeling quite physically - and mentally - relaxed. With practice you can put yourself into a deeply relaxed state within just a couple of minutes.
Then evoke, conjure or create in your mind a mental image of yourself as you'd like to be, confident, self assured and socially sought after. See - visualize - in your mind a picture of yourself with friends and acquaintances and being an integral and active part of the conversation, seeing yourself enjoy their company and seeing them enjoying yours.
Then allow your imagination to flow freely on to other situations that are relevant to your aims and desires and in which normally you'd be feeling ill at ease and lacking in confidence, for example talking to people you find attractive, or at a job interview or whatever. See yourself - with as much detail and clarity as you can - as being in these situations in the way that you'd ideally like to be, confident, relaxed and exuding a quiet but powerful sense of self assurance.
At first you may well find your mind being distracted by irrelevant and unrelated thoughts about this or that, just dismiss them from your mind and refocus on your mental imagery of yourself as you'd like to be.
Also inject feeling and emotion into your visualization. Actually feel yourself as being confident, attractive and successful in these situations. And feel it as if it's happening right now, already, and not as if at some point in the future.
Clear and detailed visualization combined with appropriate feeling and emotion has a very powerful effect on the subconscious, and it is your subconscious which has to be effectively reprogrammed in this positive way in order to truly and permanently change your deep rooted self image for the better.
Then - with this positive mental imagery still fixed in your mind - begin to slowly and deliberately whisper these words to yourself - "I am confident, relaxed and successful" or "I am confident, relaxed and attractive" - whichever is most relevant to your aims. Repeat the affirmation around 20-30 times, all the while maintaining your mental image of yourself as being those very things. The above described session of relaxation, visualization and affirmation should take about 10-15 minutes all in, and should be repeated once or better twice daily every day, say morning and evening, for at least 2-3 weeks, at which point you will be at least starting to feel a significant and positive difference in the way that you feel about yourself and your abilities.
Visualization combined with self-suggestion or self-affirming can be for some quite difficult. This difficulty can be bypassed by using confidence building hypnosis downloads which are among the most effective aids in learning how to develop self confidence. By getting yourself relaxed, starting to visualize and then listening to and absorbing the positive and confidence boosting suggestions coming from your cd player, pc or mp3, you do away with the need to consciously repeat affirmations and this is an easier - and arguably more effective - way of addressing and overcoming a negative self image and replacing it with a positive one. Details of the downloads are available here :-
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