Sexual Etiquette

To show your partner that you're one of the best awareness of sexual etiquette can make all the difference between fireworks and a damp squib. Knowing how to make sex better is linked with knowing about the do's and dont's, with showing that you're considerate and thoughtful and willing to give as well as receive. Sexual etiquette isn't really about "rules" as such, but about ensuring that your sexual experience and/or relationship is based on mutual understanding and sexual compatibility. 

Sexual Etiquette

Let your partner know what you want. This of course runs two ways. It's best to be upfront with each other - in a nice way - so that you both know what page you're on sexually. Don't go along with something that you're not comfortable with, and never try to impose your desire for something on to someone who isn't clearly willing. This obviously applies to same-sex relationships/encounters too.

In bed you can have too much eye contact as well as too little. If your partner staring at you during sex would make you uncomfortable then you can imagine how they'd feel about it.

Assuming that you're enjoying it, let him or her know that you're enjoying it. If you want to moan and groan appreciatively then just do so, but don't yell or shout, apparently some people do.

Always come prepared with condoms, more especially in relation to casual or first time sex, but without looking like you've assumed that sex is on the cards. She may or may not insist - that would depend on various circumstances - but the fact that she can see that you've been considerate that way will help.

You meet up somewhere, hit it off and go back to your/their place and have great sex together, but don't assume that that means you're spending the night. That of course may well be what happens but don't be presumptuous about it. Don't be offended or miffed if they drop hints about you getting a cab home. It doesn't necessarily mean that you've been used and then rejected. It may, of course, but don't assume it and get offended. Just leave, make sure they've got your number and wait to see if they call you back. If not, so what?

As far as oral sex is concerned, ideally both partners would be willing to pleasure each other, more specifically if you expect to receive you should be prepared to give, unless you've mutually agreed otherwise.

Hygiene is of course extremely important and can be a make or break factor. Can you imagine what a turn-off (for 99.5% of the population) a smelly and unclean body and especially "intimate" area would be?

The STD minefield. Even if you were sure you could ask about that without that conversational minefield blowing up all at once, it's a tricky area and you have to use your judgement about how to approach this if you feel you should.

If your partner's foreplay or whatever isn't arousing you, that could be because either you're preoccupied and stressed about something else or that your partner needs to be gently encouraged to do things a little differently. Don't just put up and shut up, but don't come across as critical or demanding.

If your male partner loses his mojo and goes flaccid don't make an announcement about it, you can be assured that he'll be fully aware of it. Basically he doesn't need to have his attention drawn to it, his attention's already there. If it's a fairly well established relationship and if it doesn't happen often then say and think nothing of it, that would be basic sexual etiquette. If however it's only your first or second time together he will be feeling awful and the best approach is to appear unaffected and unconcerned about it. If it persists then he's clearly got an issue of some sort and only he can take steps to deal with it.

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